Okay So It's been for about ever since I or anyone else has been on this lame site but I still feel like i can really let all my feelings out on this one site unlike myspace or facebook. I can come here and just put whatever the hell is going on in my mind and if anyone reads it then they do and if not who cares, i can still get shit out of my head. So the summer flew by so fast..it's already august and back to school. I'm a senior this year... what a crazy year... it's going to be fun but suck at the same time but hey i'm a make the most of it. I've moved to gardener but i'm still going to the same school. I'm a always be an eagle... lol... Bekah Rae and I are friends again and have been for a long time for those of you who didn't know... ummm.. Travis Kelley and I are doing amazing... we are going on 10 months now... and it doesn't even seem like that long and we spend a lot of time together... i mean we have our fights but that's what's good about it... no relationship works out without having a few fights now and then... i really love him... he's an amazing guy... and yea he has a past but everyone does... i mean many people think i'm just the shy, innocent girl but really no one knows the real me inside. I have a past... i've done my share of bad things... who hasn't.... but i'm grown up now and mature... and i've learned from my mistakes nad things i've done in my life. I've really changed since i was on here last... many things have changed.... I'm very happy now.. no more depression like i use to get... no more cutting like i use to do years ago... no more crazy shit... i actually feel normal... and i'm so loved and i thank everyone out there for doing what you all do for me everyday.. and i thank god everyday for giving me such wonderful friends, and a amazing boyfriend. So i just got a new car... a frozena and it's badass... but i need to find a job to pay for it... anyone wanna offer me a job... or tell me where a place is hiring... that would be great.... My father is still with sam and they are now talking about getting married... we all live in this new house together... it's going okay... can't wait for my room to be done so i can move in it and then i'll really being feeling at home. Well i ain't got much more to say so here are some quotes and pics to show how i'm feeling and stuff..

Wow..it's been awhile and no one probably reads this anymore let alone even uses their xanga's anymore because it's not cool or in style anymore... it's old school but you know what to everyone that reads this and who doesn't care whatever i'm old school and i don't give a shit i'll do what i want and like what i want because i can and that is the person i am... since no one really reads this i'm just going to spit some things out and let everyone know kinda what's going through my mind and how i feel. First off i'm sick of fakes and i'm sick of people that thing just because they are older they  can run my life.. i mean you ain't my daddy nor my mother so don't even step in my path/life and think you going to run it like you want because just to let you know you messing with the wrong girl thinking you are going to get me to listen to a thing you say because this is my world i live in and you do what i want not me doing what you want unless it's good for us all.. i mean yes i'm out to help everyone around me and that is why i don't listen to others okay that is wrong i listen very well i just don't take orders from someone that is going to try and be my father. Fakes are stupid... you know what is sad is when you walk into a school every morning full of fakes, and i knwo this is goin to make a bunch of people at my school pissed but it's true.. half of our school or more is nothing but fakes... people trying to act or put on a fake front so they can be cool.. so others will like them... if you ask me that is the dumbest thing you can do because i love being myself and if you don't like me for that then fuck you but then again.. emo and the goth look that is fake as well.. i mean what the hell is so great about wearing black everyday and sticking out.. they are just fucking asking for attention.. just asking for the preps or jocks to fuck with them. it's like they like violence and being so loud just brings more attention to you... i swear they are nothing but attention grabbers... that's all they want is attention.. and i agree maybe once in a while they should get it but not all the fucking time now... cool down there bud. umm another thing, i hate it when my dad's girlfriend t hinks that she can run my life i mean yes she is here and i am going to coupe with it but she ain't going to change my dad and change my curfew and rules and stuff to follow because i'm doing good the way things are now and she ain't going to change that shit. I miss my friends... sad thing is i also miss my baby but i just saw him what two nights ago nad i'll see him tom. i never see my friends or cousins anymore.. idk where time goes anymore it's school.... bowlling and travis then time is gone... i wish that i could spend more time with my friends... for example today i talked to kk and it was kinda weird.. like i didn't knwo what to say but usually i feel so comfortable around him i wouldn't shut up but time has really changed things but i just want to have a weekend where i spend it with alicia, and bekah and kriston the way we use to that would be fucking amazing... i love yall.... but here are some quotes and pics for yall... loves....

did you ever wonder if dreams came true,
if love songs & fairy tales were ever meant for you?
did you ever wonder what's at the rainbows end,
or if Romeo & Juliet could ever happen again?

People are qoing  to want you- need you, exceed you, take you, beat you, love you.
hate you, play you, rate you, && break you but  never let anyone make you

when your thoughts revolve around
him && he's the one you feel the happiest with
there's just something about him you don't
see in other guys and when you're not with him,
the only place you want to be is in his arms..
that's when you know it's real .

I care more about his life, than mine..because,
lets face it, he makes my life worth living.

Well,,,, that's all for me tonight... loves

<3Ms. Crystal Renee

You know that one person that can
always make you laugh

&& never lets you down

is probably that person

that means the world to you

 Jesus Saves...

And she starves herself to be pretty,
to look like what everyone thinks they should
but, all those magazines are wrong.
They don't know the first thing about "real."

 

 

And sometimes things just  fall apart;
So other things can fall together.

 

 

 

I want you to know who I am.

 

I just want to apologize for not being there
with you when you really needed me.

 

 

Draw a line & live above it

 

And the truth is, we're just a bunch
of kids wanting to know how to live.

 

 

God will never put you in situations
that you cant handle; so dont stress =)

 

 

 

There isn't room for God in someone who is full of themselves.

 

Daddy-you are amazing i know that sometimes i act like i don't care but i love you and you know that. you are a great dad don't get down on yourself you have done the best that you can and look how we all turned out. i know we aren't perfect but we are good kids it's not like we are getting in trouble yea josh did but that was just apart of growing up and shit and he's changed so yea... i love you daddy

 

 ~ I am who I am~  * Only GOD Can Judge Me*

 

Mommy- i know that things for you are hard i just wish you could stop the drinking all the way i know you are trying to stop but i mean i just hope you get better soon and i love you with all my heart and you know that. i know that past has been hard for us all and we have all grown from it as well i love you mommy... you're my only one....

 

Alexxis and Skyla- Wow you two are amazing but it upsets me when you both think that you're ugly or stupid that you can't ever be pretty and smart like me don't say that... you girls are young and you are both already prettier then i will ever be.. i love you two and it makes me smile really big when ppl tell me that you told them that you wanna be justl ike me thing is you don't wanna be just like me... i'm glad that you both look up to me but i'm human i have issues and stuff but we all do but you two are amazing and i love you .

 

Alicia- i love you with all my heart and i love hanging out with you... you are the best and wow the four years have just flew by and shit and idk i love going to the mall with you and football games and everything. we are so fucking amazing and ain't no one going to change that shit.... you are amazing friends forever..... you're true and i love you

 

~Those were the days~ That's the past~ Looking toward the FUTURE~

 

Sara- I love you so much. I had always looked up to you and now that we are older we are like sisters, best friends and amazing.  I love to hang out with you, it's always so much fun. i love everything we do together because we know how to have fun. I love you and i thank you for always being there for me hun! THANKS

 

Joshie- The connection we have is amazing... i'm so glad to have a brother like you that wants to beat the shit out of any guy that hurts me and is always ready to fight if someone wants to hurt your sister. you are so fucking funny and you're amazingly fun to hang out with. i love how you like to hang out with me and i'm not just a tag along sometimes i'm actually a friend and we hang out... other brothers and sisters are so fucking jealous of what we have and i'm so fucking lucky and thankful for what we have i love you bro.....

 

 ~I'm dying to know how you really feel about me~

 

so this is a very long ass entry but it was worth it. i had to let everyone know how i feel and i know i forgot some peeps but don't worry i love yall but these are just the people that in the past few weeks have had a big impact on my life and my changes and shit and i'm a new person but i'm still dying on the inside i still have pain and shit and i'm still wondering how he feels and how she feels. i've lost a really good and close friend/ best friend but things are moving on and i'm making new friends and life is great but why am i still dying inside. why do i still have the pain.. i love yall and thank you everyone...

 

I 'm getting a new car soon ... Monte Carlo baby!

 

I love yalll... even though no one uses xanga anymore and myspace is in...

 

www.myspace.com/chrissy23w15 right there is the spot bitchez message me....

 

Loves

 

<3 Crystal Renee

I Wrote this Letter today During seminar....SORRY!

          The years were long and sometimes hard, we got through so many problems and fights. We hung on for so long to something that ends tonight. I am depressed, i really did care for you. This ending is like the ending of a relationship, as a broken heart but it all will heal. I'm really sorry it all has to end this way. We had some good times and some great laughs. I feel really bad that after this I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm sorry you think I dis your family or stoop so low as to talk crap on someone who dislikes me. I feel as if this is the best. If i hurt you so bad, i don't deserve your friendship. For the past year nothing for us have been good. It's no longer you and I. Now there's a YOU and then there's ME; just as you said. I'm sorry i wasted 5 years of your life on crap. Sorry that the forever ends tonight. in the future when your name is mentioned or i drifve by your house or see you, i'll wonder how you are and how your doing just as i do with alex branson. Don't think i will forget you. I'l remember the 3 AM chats, the staying up all night, skittles and monster, colorado springs, and Jon. I'll remember turning the music up loud and acting crazy. i'll remember dillons and how whenever i was alone people would be shocked and ask where you were. i'll remember Applebees and strawberry daquiris. i'll remember Appleton and two guys. I'll remember birthdays at worlds of fun. i'll remember being loud and crazy. i'll remember racing and a certain guy. i'll remember being stupid and talking to strangers. I'll remember talking about guys. i'll remember your dad always cracking jokes and us laughing really hard. i'll remember laughing at your mom falling asleep on the couch. i'll remember our fights and make ups. i'll remember the people i met because of you. i'll remember how i would wait all day to tell you something stupid. i know that things in my everyday life will remind me of you but i'll get over it. Yet, another friendship is ruined. Many people are shocked and will be shocked to find this friendship over. many will say "oh you two will work things out, i'll all be okay," but i just don't see that happening here. other will just say that is a stupid reason and thing to do. the thing is no one knows all the reasoning or anything behind all this except you and I. i'm really sorry it all had to end this way but it's for the best. I hpe in the future you don't forget me and you also remember all the times and years we shared!

Good-Bye

               Old Friend......

<3 Crystal Renee