chrissy23w15's Xanga

Monday, August 20, 2007

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:48:43 GMT

Okay So It's been for about ever since I or anyone else has been on this lame site but I still feel like i can really let all my feelings out on this one site unlike myspace or facebook. I can come here and just put whatever the hell is going on in my mind and if anyone reads it then they do and if not who cares, i can still get shit out of my head. So the summer flew by so fast..it's already august and back to school. I'm a senior this year... what a crazy year... it's going to be fun but suck at the same time but hey i'm a make the most of it. I've moved to gardener but i'm still going to the same school. I'm a always be an eagle... lol... Bekah Rae and I are friends again and have been for a long time for those of you who didn't know... ummm.. Travis Kelley and I are doing amazing... we are going on 10 months now... and it doesn't even seem like that long and we spend a lot of time together... i mean we have our fights but that's what's good about it... no relationship works out without having a few fights now and then... i really love him... he's an amazing guy... and yea he has a past but everyone does... i mean many people think i'm just the shy, innocent girl but really no one knows the real me inside. I have a past... i've done my share of bad things... who hasn't.... but i'm grown up now and mature... and i've learned from my mistakes nad things i've done in my life. I've really changed since i was on here last... many things have changed.... I'm very happy now.. no more depression like i use to get... no more cutting like i use to do years ago... no more crazy shit... i actually feel normal... and i'm so loved and i thank everyone out there for doing what you all do for me everyday.. and i thank god everyday for giving me such wonderful friends, and a amazing boyfriend. So i just got a new car... a frozena and it's badass... but i need to find a job to pay for it... anyone wanna offer me a job... or tell me where a place is hiring... that would be great.... My father is still with sam and they are now talking about getting married... we all live in this new house together... it's going okay... can't wait for my room to be done so i can move in it and then i'll really being feeling at home. Well i ain't got much more to say so here are some quotes and pics to show how i'm feeling and stuff..

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 04:10:34 GMT

Wow..it's been awhile and no one probably reads this anymore let alone even uses their xanga's anymore because it's not cool or in style anymore... it's old school but you know what to everyone that reads this and who doesn't care whatever i'm old school and i don't give a shit i'll do what i want and like what i want because i can and that is the person i am... since no one really reads this i'm just going to spit some things out and let everyone know kinda what's going through my mind and how i feel. First off i'm sick of fakes and i'm sick of people that thing just because they are older they can run my life.. i mean you ain't my daddy nor my mother so don't even step in my path/life and think you going to run it like you want because just to let you know you messing with the wrong girl thinking you are going to get me to listen to a thing you say because this is my world i live in and you do what i want not me doing what you want unless it's good for us all.. i mean yes i'm out to help everyone around me and that is why i don't listen to others okay that is wrong i listen very well i just don't take orders from someone that is going to try and be my father. Fakes are stupid... you know what is sad is when you walk into a school every morning full of fakes, and i knwo this is goin to make a bunch of people at my school pissed but it's true.. half of our school or more is nothing but fakes... people trying to act or put on a fake front so they can be cool.. so others will like them... if you ask me that is the dumbest thing you can do because i love being myself and if you don't like me for that then fuck you but then again.. emo and the goth look that is fake as well.. i mean what the hell is so great about wearing black everyday and sticking out.. they are just fucking asking for attention.. just asking for the preps or jocks to fuck with them. it's like they like violence and being so loud just brings more attention to you... i swear they are nothing but attention grabbers... that's all they want is attention.. and i agree maybe once in a while they should get it but not all the fucking time now... cool down there bud. umm another thing, i hate it when my dad's girlfriend t hinks that she can run my life i mean yes she is here and i am going to coupe with it but she ain't going to change my dad and change my curfew and rules and stuff to follow because i'm doing good the way things are now and she ain't going to change that shit. I miss my friends... sad thing is i also miss my baby but i just saw him what two nights ago nad i'll see him tom. i never see my friends or cousins anymore.. idk where time goes anymore it's school.... bowlling and travis then time is gone... i wish that i could spend more time with my friends... for example today i talked to kk and it was kinda weird.. like i didn't knwo what to say but usually i feel so comfortable around him i wouldn't shut up but time has really changed things but i just want to have a weekend where i spend it with alicia, and bekah and kriston the way we use to that would be fucking amazing... i love yall.... but here are some quotes and pics for yall... loves....

did you ever wonder if dreams came true,
if love songs & fairy tales were ever meant for you?
did you ever wonder what's at the rainbows end,
or if Romeo & Juliet could ever happen again?

People are qoing to want you- need you, exceed you, take you, beat you, love you.
hate you, play you, rate you, && break you but never let anyone make you

when your thoughts revolve around
him && he's the one you feel the happiest with
there's just something about him you don't
see in other guys and when you're not with him,
the only place you want to be is in his arms..
that's when you know it's real .

I care more about his life, than mine..because,
lets face it, he makes my life worth living.

Well,,,, that's all for me tonight... loves

<3Ms. Crystal Renee

Monday, December 04, 2006

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 21:28:07 GMT

You know that one person that can
always make you laugh

&& never lets you down

is probably that person

that means the world to you

Remember when we were 5

And we pinky swore

We would always be there for each other

Yah, you broke your promise

Deppression: Just a fancy word for die on the inside

I was your friend before her

Its been 8 years

And I am still not your hero

It only took her a month.

Somewhere I lost a friend
in-between all this madness

I want a friend who doesn’t decide what day
they’re going to be friends with me.
I want someone that’s going to be there for me.

No matter what.

Music says the words

That we are too scared to say

Can I tell you a secret.

We're not all the same

people said i've changed so much,
well; here's the honest truth, i grew up.
i stopped letting people push me around
i learned that you can't always be happy
i accepted reality

speak when you're angry and you'll
make the best speech you`ll ever regret

she was much too pretty and way too depressed.

they saw only the beauty and overlooked the mess.

Okay so no one ever gets on xanga anymore and that includes me well i never update but on ocasion i do come on here and see if i have any comments and i return them. So christmas is soon. I got a job finally working at CVS Pharmacy on 119th.... it's a good job... ummm i have a boyfriend... but that is for me to know.... the 11th will be our one month... wow it doesn't seem like that long... but idk... ummm and welll idk i am doing really good... i've had my depressed times and shit but i'm doing a lot better now and i just want to wish everyone a happy holidays and hope that the new year works out for you.....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 18:56:09 GMT

Jesus Saves...

And she starves herself to be pretty,
to look like what everyone thinks they should
but, all those magazines are wrong.
They don't know the first thing about "real."

And sometimes things just fall apart;
So other things can fall together.

I want you to know who I am.

I just want to apologize for not being there
with you when you really needed me.

Draw a line & live above it

And the truth is, we're just a bunch
of kids wanting to know how to live.

God will never put you in situations
that you cant handle; so dont stress =)

There isn't room for God in someone who is full of themselves.

Daddy-you are amazing i know that sometimes i act like i don't care but i love you and you know that. you are a great dad don't get down on yourself you have done the best that you can and look how we all turned out. i know we aren't perfect but we are good kids it's not like we are getting in trouble yea josh did but that was just apart of growing up and shit and he's changed so yea... i love you daddy

~ I am who I am~ * Only GOD Can Judge Me*

Mommy- i know that things for you are hard i just wish you could stop the drinking all the way i know you are trying to stop but i mean i just hope you get better soon and i love you with all my heart and you know that. i know that past has been hard for us all and we have all grown from it as well i love you mommy... you're my only one....

Alexxis and Skyla- Wow you two are amazing but it upsets me when you both think that you're ugly or stupid that you can't ever be pretty and smart like me don't say that... you girls are young and you are both already prettier then i will ever be.. i love you two and it makes me smile really big when ppl tell me that you told them that you wanna be justl ike me thing is you don't wanna be just like me... i'm glad that you both look up to me but i'm human i have issues and stuff but we all do but you two are amazing and i love you .

Alicia- i love you with all my heart and i love hanging out with you... you are the best and wow the four years have just flew by and shit and idk i love going to the mall with you and football games and everything. we are so fucking amazing and ain't no one going to change that shit.... you are amazing friends forever..... you're true and i love you

~Those were the days~ That's the past~ Looking toward the FUTURE~

Sara- I love you so much. I had always looked up to you and now that we are older we are like sisters, best friends and amazing. I love to hang out with you, it's always so much fun. i love everything we do together because we know how to have fun. I love you and i thank you for always being there for me hun! THANKS

Joshie- The connection we have is amazing... i'm so glad to have a brother like you that wants to beat the shit out of any guy that hurts me and is always ready to fight if someone wants to hurt your sister. you are so fucking funny and you're amazingly fun to hang out with. i love how you like to hang out with me and i'm not just a tag along sometimes i'm actually a friend and we hang out... other brothers and sisters are so fucking jealous of what we have and i'm so fucking lucky and thankful for what we have i love you bro.....

~I'm dying to know how you really feel about me~

so this is a very long ass entry but it was worth it. i had to let everyone know how i feel and i know i forgot some peeps but don't worry i love yall but these are just the people that in the past few weeks have had a big impact on my life and my changes and shit and i'm a new person but i'm still dying on the inside i still have pain and shit and i'm still wondering how he feels and how she feels. i've lost a really good and close friend/ best friend but things are moving on and i'm making new friends and life is great but why am i still dying inside. why do i still have the pain.. i love yall and thank you everyone...

I 'm getting a new car soon ... Monte Carlo baby!

I love yalll... even though no one uses xanga anymore and myspace is in...

www.myspace.com/chrissy23w15 right there is the spot bitchez message me....

Loves

<3 Crystal Renee

Friday, September 29, 2006

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 02:15:58 GMT

I Wrote this Letter today During seminar....SORRY!

The years were long and sometimes hard, we got through so many problems and fights. We hung on for so long to something that ends tonight. I am depressed, i really did care for you. This ending is like the ending of a relationship, as a broken heart but it all will heal. I'm really sorry it all has to end this way. We had some good times and some great laughs. I feel really bad that after this I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm sorry you think I dis your family or stoop so low as to talk crap on someone who dislikes me. I feel as if this is the best. If i hurt you so bad, i don't deserve your friendship. For the past year nothing for us have been good. It's no longer you and I. Now there's a YOU and then there's ME; just as you said. I'm sorry i wasted 5 years of your life on crap. Sorry that the forever ends tonight. in the future when your name is mentioned or i drifve by your house or see you, i'll wonder how you are and how your doing just as i do with alex branson. Don't think i will forget you. I'l remember the 3 AM chats, the staying up all night, skittles and monster, colorado springs, and Jon. I'll remember turning the music up loud and acting crazy. i'll remember dillons and how whenever i was alone people would be shocked and ask where you were. i'll remember Applebees and strawberry daquiris. i'll remember Appleton and two guys. I'll remember birthdays at worlds of fun. i'll remember being loud and crazy. i'll remember racing and a certain guy. i'll remember being stupid and talking to strangers. I'll remember talking about guys. i'll remember your dad always cracking jokes and us laughing really hard. i'll remember laughing at your mom falling asleep on the couch. i'll remember our fights and make ups. i'll remember the people i met because of you. i'll remember how i would wait all day to tell you something stupid. i know that things in my everyday life will remind me of you but i'll get over it. Yet, another friendship is ruined. Many people are shocked and will be shocked to find this friendship over. many will say "oh you two will work things out, i'll all be okay," but i just don't see that happening here. other will just say that is a stupid reason and thing to do. the thing is no one knows all the reasoning or anything behind all this except you and I. i'm really sorry it all had to end this way but it's for the best. I hpe in the future you don't forget me and you also remember all the times and years we shared!

Good-Bye

Old Friend......

<3 Crystal Renee

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:10:10 GMT

I'm Falling Apart, Piece by Piece,

Day by Day, Friend by Friend........

My life is okay i guess but like i think like some people in my life just are out to hurt me anymore. I kinda love my life with my friends life kinda except for one person and they know who they are. See it's kinda hard to talk to this person because we use to be like unseperatable and now this year thinks have changed and it's both of us not just one of us so it's not anyone's fault but like we don't talk much anymore and when we do i feel like we haven't talked in ages and she's just calling me up one day because she is always like so how is life and shit like that like we haven't talked for like ever and like i just can't have a long convo with her anymore because we just sit in silence and shit like that and it's just kinda weird for me. We don't hang out much anymore and she says she wants to be a better person and shit and that she needs my help and when i try to help her she gives up so i don't know what to do because she hasn't proven shit to me lately and all she has done is let me down. She gets upset that we don't hang out anymore but we are different i'm the type of person that goes to friday night football games and chills with people and i love to go out and party and shit like that while she likes to spend time at her house and like idk i'm just so depressed anymore but there are some people that when i'm around them i'm all happy and life couldn't be better so i think possibly my depression has to do with the people around me or something i really don't know. or the environment. This year i hate going to school for the main fact of lectures and homeworking but i love going to see all the new and old friends i have nad i love to just chill with them.. idk if people have noticed but i smile more at school because my life is finally on track and i feel as if someone is trying to fuck it over but i'm not going to fucking let them do it this time. I believe in this person so much and i just wish that she could understand what she is doing to herself... i use to fight with her because of school but now i have decided to back off and let her make her mistakes and in the future she can look back and say damn i wish i would have listened to crystal look where she is and what she made of herself and look at me i'm just the same as i was in high school and shit like that and i hope that she doesn't take this shit as a dis and she understands the point i'm trying to get across and for the counsoler that told her all this shit and put it all in her head they should be beat because they are just lying and making shit worse but idk i'm out of it and it's her life and i'm don't care anymore...

The Other Side

i walk into the room
you don't have to scream i can hear you
bad trip, the needle sticks
you get your kicks from confrontation
i try to make it past
i don't wanna get into it right now
can't this family have one day
to get away from all the pain

and through the night i see the light
shining from the neighbor's windows
i dream of life where i'm safe
in a home where i am not alone
some day i will lay me down
on the grass where everything is greener
it always seems so good on the other side

i'm sick of all the heat
you can taste the hate in the air
running through this family, uncomfortably
it's burning me
is anybody there
in your eyes there's nothing to see
just because your dreams have died
don't drag me down, i've still got mine

(chorus)

neighbor boy runs up to me, his eyes all black and blue
i say what happened to you boy, he said my daddy flew
off the hook cos i was playin too loud
i guess he couldn't hear the tv
he said son i'm a teach you a lesson
and then he .... and then he....

maybe it's not so good on the other side
maybe it's not so good on the other side
but it always seems so good, on the other side
it always looks so good .... it always seems so good

This is my song... about my childhood kinda and i love this song SMILE EMPTY SOUL fucking rock!

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!

YEA SO I TOTALLY GOT STUNG BY A BEE THIS PAST WEEKEND! :(

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, I'LL GET LOST

MY UNCLE RODNEY

MY COUSIN IN HER POOL

PEOPLE JUMPING AT RODNEY'S (DADDY AND I WERE THE WASHER CHAMPIONS THAT NIGHT HELLZ YEA)

MY SIS AND CUZ....LOVE FOR THESE GIRLS

BRITTANY....LOVE THIS GIRL

So there are people in my life that make me so happy and everytime we hang out i can't ever stop laughing and when there are bad and sad times we cry together. I love my family and friends and i thank the people that have made me smile lately... Travis, Skyla, Brittany, Lindsey, Heather, Carolyn, Alexxis, SARA...gosh i love this girl..sara is the most amazing cousin anyone could ever ask for..and i'm so glad to call her my cousin so be jealous bitchez..no matter what sara has always been my sidekick and she is amazing and we know how to have fun together....

think that sometimes we love people so much that we're numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we really do love them, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person; it just means your heart is too big.

He knew he made a mistake. You could see it in his face every time she walked into the room. He wished he hadn't done that to her

I know we haven't spoken for a while,
but I was thinking about you and it kind of
made me smile. So many things to say and
I'll put them in a letter. It might be easier,
the words might come out better. So many
things I wanna know the answers to.
I wish I could press rewind and rewrite
every line to the story of me and you.

Now Her, She's a different story.
Her heart is currently broken.
Watch her, in all her glory.
Her smile is fake and it's well spoken.
She cries more than needed
and those tears on her cheek
are proof that she's never exceeded
But according to every guy, she's a charm
& yet she still sits there smiling;;
regardless of all the fake friends.
&& the dreams that were broken.

she sits in the corner
singing herself to sleep
wrapped around in promises
that no one seems to keep
My secret is fatally gorgeous
I'd die for you
But when your precious life is at stake
Tell me would you die for me too?

So theres this boy,
We fight alot,
He makes fun of me because i can only stay on a
subject for like 5 sec. & then im on to the next one
He listens to me when im sad
& handles me when im mad
tell him "i hate him"
& he responds with "i love you"
yeah hes not prince charming,
but to me he couldnt be more perfect

a real best friend never gets sick of you.
they always want to hang out with each other.
they have all the insiders in the world,
no matter what happens or who comes along,
nothing gets in the way of their friendships <

you dont know who your best friend is? if you had one you would know. they are the person that no matter how long it has been, you can still pick up right where you left off. where you can look completely normal to all your other friends, but she pulls you aside and asks you whats wrong. shes the one who is always there. no question. there are no fights serious enough, no distances long enough, no mistakes big enough to make her go away. shes there for you always and forever. thats a real best friend

<3 Ms. Crystal Renee

Monday, September 11, 2006

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 22:47:56 GMT

I stole this entry from Shannon.... i hope that's how you spell it hun....!

We will never forget...

9/11/01

You tried to crash our pride...but you didn't succeed...

Think again before you try to mess with the United States...

You better believe it...

To the 2,973 people who lost their life on this freightful day...to the 24 still missing...and to the 2,668 soldiers who lost their life in Iraq...we will never forget...

1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

5) The two twin towers make an "11"

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number

11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers.

6+5 = 11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.

9 + 1 + 1 = 11.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. >2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.

Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers

incident.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic

holy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still unconvinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following TRY THIS FOR REAL)

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first

plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS 1

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 02:19:49 GMT

*~*I Dream of A Prince Charming, But Wake To Find Nothing*~*

Y'all Suck At Comments! Does No One Use Xanga Anymore?

i want a guy that will make me happy.
someone that will make me smile when
i hear his voice. someone that will love
me unconditionally. i want a guy that will
make my friends say to one another,
"she's happy again

you wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? its waking up on a monday morning with no complaints. its knowing you always deserve to laugh. its doing what feels right no matter what. its doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. its about being yourself, cause no one can tell you you're doing it wrong

Have you have had that empty feeling inside
of you like no one cares or loves you back ;;
as if you cried ; no one would be there to
wipe away all of your tears?

i want a boy who would sing to me at random moments. someone who is more goofy than romantic. a boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when i'm acting dumb. . a guy who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh. he'd play with my hair all the time & surprise me with 25 cent rings. someone who i could lay on a blanket with to count the stars. we'd buy tons of disposable cameras to take the silliest pictures of each other but mostly ; someone who would be my best friend & would never break my heart. he would just always make me smile.

this is for the girls who don't always win,
who stay up all night listening to music that
inspires them to do things next to impossible
the girls that laugh, smile, cry
and think all on a daily basis
the girls who like, learn, and regret
the girls who may never have it easy
the girls who learn the hard way
and live to tell about it
the real girls <3

I love yall......

Old Settlers this coming weekend....starts Thursday..

Excited.... One Special guy i care to go with.. i hope he says "YES"

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 01:50:14 GMT

Lay me here, let me Die........

School is getting better i guess but i still am being loaded with homework....

I need some advice from you all... okay there is this guy.. that i really like okay we don't hang out that much we have only hung out a few times and i've talked to him on the phone.. all my friends say that he really likes me and stuff because how he acts and stuff like that...well i'm going to ask him to go to old settlers with me... and i think we might go to the movies on friday... well i mean i really like him but i'm afraid that i'm going to lose him to some other girls that are so much better then i am and shit.. and like idk it's just really crazy for me right now with school and work and guys and shit but idk....this weekend i'm going out and partying the fuck up... so you wanna chill hit me up playa! Nothing is really new with this gal...got my haircut the other day and my best friend has been sick but she is suppose to be going back to school tom. so i'm excited but idk...well i'm getting paid on friday... 193.50 hells yes... good start for getting my car.. i mean it's going to take some time but i'm a get this dream car of mine.. i know my dad will help me out some..

Old Settlers Next Weekend....so excited.....

Pretty girls turn heads. Me and my girls break necks

I Want To Be Someones Last Call Of The Night
&& Their First Thought In The Morning
I Want The Hugs That You Never Want To Let Go Of
&& The Kisses That Take Your Breath Away
But Most Importantly,
I Wanna Know Someone Considers Me Theirs <333

Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down<3

you`re talking to a girl who has
had her heart broken, cried for
continuous hours, yelled and screamed
for help. a girl who turned her back on the world
..and a girl who did nothing but love someone
who couldn`t love her back.

you're not the kind of guy that would
ignore me when you're with your friends.
but hold me tighter and kiss me harder,
just to make them jealous

she doesn't know who she is anymore.
she can only think about him these days.
she doesn't have a clue what he's doing,
but it's hurting her horribly and it won't go away.

i messed up, but that's what i do.
my life is so mixed up, and as soon as i
get something that can classify as normal,
i mess it up. i never meant to hurt you.
you are the only good thing that i have,
but i had to mess it up.
because if my life wasn't a mess,
well it wouldn't even be mine

I have finally realized why i'm so afraid of falling for him and why i'm so afraid to lose him at that same time... He's just so perfect it's like he's not true or i don't know the whole truth.... this guy seems too good to fucking be true... but he is or that i know of...he's amazing.. he's sweet... he's sexy... he's so nice....he smells hella good... and everything... he's just perfect and i'm scared of losing him but scared of getting to close and getting my heart broken again......

What should I Do? Help Me i'm losing my mind with all this crap here?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 03:26:14 GMT

School is Officially stressful and stupid...

For one, i have been loaded down with tons of homework in the first full week of school, i've spent like an hour or more on homework since friday. Two, My backpack weighs 50 lbs.. or so because the books i carry.. i mean you think that either they should give us more time during passing period or they should put your locker close to were most of your classes are you think that they would be that smart but i guess that would be to much work for them.. i mean my locker is in the 200 hall and like i only have one class in that hall so there is no point in using my locker for anything..I'm ready for summer 07' to start and i really hope that it comes fast and this year goes by fast like last year...

On onther note.. i'm excited for old settlers to come.. how about y'all...who you going to ask this year.. last year i went with bekah and sean..and this year i know for sure i'm going to go with bekah and prob. alicia.. bekah thinks i should ask justin and i prob. will but idk i'm just excited to chill with friends and shit..

I'm sick of bitchez who talk shit and that are all talk.. this doesn't go out to one person or one group because i have been fighting with some girls but this doesn't go out to them...this just goes out to everyone.. i'm sick of fake girls that think they are so amazing and shit.. i'm sick of girls who try to be like the fake girls and act different to be noticed.. i think girls that don't eat are sick..i am sick of all the girls saying oh i'm never going to find any guy.. i'm too ugly and no one likes me that just means that you are impatient.. you need to learn to wait on a guy.. and i'm sick of the slutty girls that will do anything for a guy to like them even if it means going all the way with that guy..i'm sorry but that is nasty..i'm sick of people not being themselves..i'm sick of the labels even though north doesn't really have cliques or labels.. we are pretty good at that.. i just wish that everyone would be themselves and not fake anything.. and i wish girls would understand that they are gorgeous in their own way and that there is that one amazing guy out there looking for them just right now is not their time to meet..Be kind to all those around you, you never know what will happen in the future.. you know i mean it's a small world.. they could be your boss in the future or they could be your wife or husband.. i mean lots of things can happen.. i just wish everyone could understand that it's okay to be yourself and act like a child and have fun with your friends...that's who you are then go for it.. if you like to wear crazy stuff then be that.. i know that people don't like goths or whatever.. i hate labeling them like that but i dont' know what else to call them.. i mean they may do stupid things but like some of them that is just who they are and for others it's just the last group that they could easily fit into.. i mean life would be so much better if everyone wasn't afraid to show who they really are...?

This girl just lost some friends over something really stupid..but what i love is that she isn't afraid to be herself no matter how many friends she has because she has realized it's better to have true friends then lots of fake friends..shit in her life is going down but she still is always happy and has a smile on her face.. sometimes she reminds me of me when i was her age.. so i don't know if she is just hiding behind that smile or if she just lets all the problems slide by her.. i mean she's not perfect but she's pretty damn close.. she's gorgeous.. she's the nicest ever.. she cares about everyone and would do anything to make someone happy or better, she's into church and god, she doesn't give a fuck what you have to say about her, she's my cousin... and i love her lots.. YOU'RE AMAZING SKYLARAY....Fuck all those haterz..you don't need them anyways...

Your the one who looked right through me
Now your saying that you knew me.
When I was invisible

there's three sides to every story. one persons side,
the other persons side, & the truth."

most people go to funerals thinking wrongly
of why they are there, they are not there
because the person died, they are there
because the person lived.

God will never put you in situations
that you cant handle; so dont stress =)

on the days we're not together, i want you to remember.
you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and you're smarter than you think, but the most important
thing to remember is even when we're apart, i'm with you

Well that's all i got for now.. i hope you take into consideration the stuff that i said.. if i bored you then i'm sorry..you find something interesting for me to write about...maybe soon i'll post some of my poetry up here for yall to read but not still bitchez...

Loves..